The monarchy makes no sense even on its own logic. It is impossible that the putative William V is the most entitled direct descendant of William the Conqueror (who bumped off the one and only actually English King of all England, Harrold Godwinson). Just to mention a single example of scores, it appears that Edward IV’s father, Richard of York, was at no time in the same country as his mother during the possible conception period. And yes, the current lineage’s claim to succession would fall on that point.

Even if you accept that for the Tudors to kill off the Yorkists was a reasonable grounds of entitlement, or for the Stuarts to be excluded on grounds of religion is not a problem, the many infidelities over the centuries make the mystic idea of a bloodline absolute bollocks.

I came professionally into contact with widespread DNA testing through passport and visa applications. Throughout all cultures around the world, with remarkable consistency this kind of testing shows that around 15% of children do not belong to their apparent father, often genuinely to their surprise. While in visas and passports that figure may be a bit distorted by attempted fraud, that is balanced by the fact that mothers who are particularly worried they will get such a result have an obvious incentive not to get into that kind of test. My time as university rector enabled me to have some social conversations with senior medical professionals who indicated to me that medical tests performed for non parental identity reasons, have always frequently given results that show the apparent father is not the father surprisingly often. Such information is obviously not disclosed, rightly. DNA testing has only clarified this picture.

In truth, nobody can be certain without a test who their father is. Sorry, but it is true. You can be confident, but not certain.

William’s mother was a notorious slapper. William does look quite a lot like his official grandfather Phil the Greek, so he may be OK a couple of generations. But the royal line? Bullshit.

In Ghana they have matrilineal systems, which shows a much more sophisticated cultural understanding than the British.

I am an avid sports fan; I don’t blog about it much, but you may be surprised to hear I watched almost every ball of the Ashes series live, for example, mostly on my TV in Ghana. This weekend I was gripped by whether Westwood or Donald would make World No 1. And my heart is singing at the prospect of Norwich City’s return to the top flight, not to mention stuffing Ipswich at Portman Road.

I am not a Manchester United supporter. I fully qualify to be, as I have absolutely no connection to Manchester, but I am not. But I must note the wonderful performance by the incredible, ageless Ryan Giggs last night against Schalke. Not flashy, but his intelligence both on and off the ball simply overwhelmed the German team. His one howling miss was just an accent to his performance. Everyone who loves football should cherish these late autumnal moments of his career.