lardon and witch

The 41 year old “starlet” in this picture is Gulnara Karimova, “the most hated woman in Uzbekistan” according to leaked US diplomatic cables, which are understated. She has had business rivals killed, forcibly taken over the assets of Uzbek and foreign entrepreneurs as well as Uzbek state concerns, been involved in trafficking girls into prostitution in Dubai, a partner of Gafur Rakhimov in the narcotics trade and she benefits financially from the open forced labour of millions of small children picking cotton in the state farms.

On the plus side she is a Professor of International Relations, International Singing Star, World Renowned Fashion Designer, Ambassador to Spain and to the United Nations, Poet, Scriptwriter and Jeweller. She is worth about 4 billion dollars. None of which “career” has been hurt by the fact that her father is the world’s most vicious dictator.

Gulnara also likes to enhance her image for domestic consumption by hobnobbing with the Soviet oligarch’s idea of important westerners. Thus she is close to Joan Laporta, until recently President of Barcelona FC, and has arranged visits and plater exchanges from that club. She has dueted with Julio Iglesias, been serenaded by Sting, and is a friend of Nat Rothschild, Oleg Deripaska and other of the Peter Mandelson holiday set.

That the 41 year old deputy dictatress likes to wear pigtails and cakes of cosmetics and pose as a young ingenue with old has-been stars is a hobby which costs the exploited Uzbeks dear. Depardieu is getting 3.2 million euros for appearing in a film officially scripted by Karimova, but in truth ghosted by Professor Akbar Hakimov of the Uzbek State Academy of Literature (I can hear Bulgakov having wild fits of laughter in his grave).

Depardieu has become an amporphous blob of animal fat; it is difficult to tell where he ends and where air starts, possibly because he is exuding a lot of gas. He looks like a particularly cheap and ill-conceived monster from a 1970’s Dr Who episode.

For someone my age, who was thrilled by Les Valseuses and still cries at Jean De Florette, what Depardieu is now, is just horrible. We tried to overlook his urinating in plane aisles or attacking fans, as evidence of wild charm. But recently his tax exile to Belgium, friendship with the Putin inner circle, adoption of Russian citizenship and now pussy-licking of old Gulnara are beyond horrible.