Stunning New Leaked Document 220

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A gentleman in a dark trenchcoat has just handed me this minute. I am not going to check the veracity of its contents at all, but I am rather going immediately to publish it.

Mr Carlton-Browne,

I had a phone call from that Peruvian Johnny. No idea what he was saying, some kind of foreigner talk apparently. Anyway it turned out that young Olga the cleaner could speak the language so she translated for me. She is a marvel, Olga. She even takes copies home of everything for me so that if I lose something she’ll have another copy safe and sound.

Anyway, apparently this Peruvian chap had been in Scotland and met up with Alex Salmond, who used to be some sort of local official. He thought that I would like to know that Salmond said he wasn’t big on canapes and despite his name didn’t like smoked salmon. Rather wry that, I thought.

He went on to say that Salmond said he had enormous respect for Nigel Farage, who was very macho, and he would be delighted to see a UKIP government in power after the general election, preferably in coalition with Pegida. Salmond added “thank God nobody knows about this, or they would lynch me. Of course I haven’t told anybody, but I feel perfectly safe revealing it at random to a passing Peruvian I just met.”

The Peruvian chap said before he hung off that of course he was telling me as everybody knows that all foreign ambassadors must by protocol give details of all their transactions to their host governments and that anybody who denied this was a dirty liar, particularly smart-arsed ex-diplomats from Edinburgh. He also added clearly that nobody at all should believe him if he himself denied these conversations had ever taken place.

I thanked him very much for this information. This is a very proper and official government memo, oh yes. It even has acronyms – we shall have to tell R2D2 and SPECTRE before the meeting in Rio about climate change because we are all genuine government people doing important government business, oh yes.

I shan’t put my name on this as it is all jolly secret. If anyone catches us out, just say Olga got lost in translation.

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220 thoughts on “Stunning New Leaked Document”

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  • Ken Waldron

    Peacemaker: “it should be obvious to anyone with a working political brain why Nicola would prefer a tory government… it will spell more austerity, which will make people even more likely to vote SNP”

    Try another gear. Anyone with a political brain in Scotland knows the SNP are in power running the Scottish government and with the Tories (or untrammelled Labour) in charge of the Scottish budget there are going to be massive cuts.
    You might dismiss the notion that the SNP would prioritise the electorates over its own party interests on the grounds that its exactly what we have come to expect of Westminster political parties, but putting that aside, the politically astute know that the Tories and other unionists are in charge of more than 90% of the media & press and that the aforesaid Westminster cuts will be relabelled “SNP cuts” and there will be a relentless media campaign highlighting every single one on those grounds.
    In the present financial & media circumstances the SNP would be foolish to support Tory rule as it would only lead to their eclipse in the Scottish parliament, which is why they have made it utterly plain that they wont have anything to do with the Tories, and why the Torygraph story is counter-factual tosh.

  • fwltooyougtorememberoldblackandwhitecomedies

    One good thing will have come out the TV debate if Nicola Sturgeon gets labour and other voters in England to embrace her and if she engages with Westminster on a more than a what can I get out this for Scotland basis i.e. she may the sting of hate out of nationalism.

  • Republicofscotland

    Over 4000 people many YES supporters,swamped George Square in Glasgow today,in defiance of Westminster and their vile vanity project,known as Trident.

    The First Minister Nicola Sturgeon was there in a show of strength,many folk lambasted the the Telegraph newspaper,which,is sinking faster than the Titanic,in Scotland.

    Heres the livestream event

    http://new.livestream.com/IndependenceLive/Bairns

    Events like these,are heart warming,we will overcome,of that I have no doubt.

  • lysias

    Personally if I were to adopt a minority party leader to cuddle up to and place all my faith in I think the lovely Leanne Wood would be a better choice – far less likely to betray any loyalty given in return.

    Divide et impera is a tried-and-true technique of British imperialism. Why not use it against the British left?

  • lysias

    By the way, today’s Washington Post has an article on the UK debate. It actually says foreign policy did not come up, except for the EU.

    No mention of Trident. What did you expect?

  • Rob Royston

    Fred must work for the Telegraph. Stickers were put on papers in one supermarket in Irvine, but he has it as supermarkets. Like the Telegraph he couldn’t lie straight in bed.

  • lysias

    That Spectator article on James Cook actually takes the view that the leaked document is genuine.

  • RobG

    Oh c’mon Fred, if you want to be taken seriously.

    You’ve just given a link to the UK Daily Telegraph, which published a story today about Nicola Sturgeon that was found to be a complete fabrication within minutes of its release.

    You often sound tired of it all, Fred, and I understand why you want your pension and all that; but really, why not go out fighting for the good of society?

    We come into this world with nothing, and we leave with nothing. What do you want put on your headstone? “Establishment shill”, or “This guy had guts and integrity”?

    I know that deep down you are a good person, Fred.

  • Rob Royston

    James Cook, the Spectator and Fred all genuinely still believe that the leaked document is genuine. They can’t believe (or afford to believe) that Unionists are corrupt.

  • lysias

    The damage to the USS Ronald Reagan from exposure to radioactivity while stationed offshore from Fukushima right after the tsunami runs a lot more than 500,000 pounds. The carrier is probably now unusable, although the U.S. Navy refuses to admit it. According to the latest Navy Times I looked at a week ago, the carrier is still docked in California. The Navy claims to be planning to station it in Japan. I wonder if the nuclearphobic Japanese people will have anything to say about that.

  • bevin

    The SNP doesn’t need to support Cameron to get a Tory government. The basis of Sturgeon’s current popularity is that Miliband and his Blairite friends are Tories too. And all of Scotland, including Fred no doubt, knows it.

    The fact that Labour led the Unionist campaign in the referendum, carrying out the heavy lifting for the close to extinct Scots Conservative and Liberal parties is the central fact in current Scots politics.

    Sturgeon doesn’t much care which brand of Tories win in England but she clearly prefers dealing with the only brand of Tory over which she has leverage-in that she owns its rank and file-and that is Labour.

    Hence the logic behind her challenge today to Labour to give up its austerity economics and its Pentagon crafted Defence policy.

  • Dave

    @Mary
    “More from the Navy Lark.”
    Hit a Iceberg was used as a cover story during the cold war.

    Maybe maybe not I could not possibly comment.

  • Mary

    Funny you should say that Dave. The same in the piece.

    After the crash, engineers from HMS Talent’s 130-strong crew found that the impact had devastated the submarine’s outer layer of acoustic tiles. These square-shaped 2in-thick tiles minimise the vessel’s transmission of sound waves and other signals that could reveal her position. The Royal Navy’s explanation that HMS Talent struck ice was also used to explain damage to British submarines during the Cold War which was later found to have been caused by enemy vessels.

    In 1981, the crew of HMS Sceptre were ordered to say they had hit an iceberg after their collision with the Russian submarine K-211.

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3025839/Royal-Navy-nuclear-submarine-suffers-500-000-damage-hitting-floating-ice-tracking-Russian-vessels.html

    Aren’t they horrible looking hateful objects.

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/04/04/19/2749E59100000578-3025839-image-a-18_1428172804785.jpg

  • RobG

    @Lysias
    4 Apr, 2015 – 11:07 pm

    It’s not just the USS Reagan. In Fukushima waters it was accompanied by many ships that made up its carrier fleet.

    As well as the USS Reagan (one of the biggest and most expensive aircraft carriers ever built), there are at least 12 other warships that were seriously irradiated. Thousands of people who were on these ships are now dying from radiation related illnesses. There’s an ongoing lawsuit, that I guarantee most people reading this thread will have never, ever heard of.

    That’s the ‘democracy’ you live in.

    And as well as the human cost, there’s also the capital cost of billions of dollars down the drain (because none of these ships will be able to be used again), and none of it is told to the public, who have to pay for it all.

    Instead we get guys in suits who look like second-hand car salesmen, and anyone ‘real’ who comes along is immediately trashed by the media.

  • fred

    “You’ve just given a link to the UK Daily Telegraph, which published a story today about Nicola Sturgeon that was found to be a complete fabrication within minutes of its release.”

    I have seen no evidence the document was a fabrication and I firmly believe that what it said, that Nicola would prefer a Conservative government at Westminster is true. If the document was fabricated then the Telegraph can be sued.

    But that is beside the point, putting stickers on newspapers in supermarkets and intimidating journalists are not acts of civilised people, they are the acts of Nazi thugs.

    If people here claim to stand for freedom of speech, claim to support Assange and Wikileaks, Chelsea Manning then they must support the rights of the Telegraph to publish leaked documents and journalists to speak without fear of intimidation.

  • Dave

    @Mary “Funny you should say that Dave. The same in the piece.”

    Mary I know all about those cover stories.I was a cold war submariner, at least they admit now.

  • John Goss

    In all seriousness Craig, since you made the latest revelation of a letter without a revealed source there seems to have been an absence of a certain individual, known to have had a Peruvian history, from commenting. What’s more all his supporters, who some refer to as trolls, have ceased to rush to his defence, or perhaps they mistook this letter as being a leaf from the work of P. G. Wodehouse (or Dennis Thatcher’s diary). When Habbabkuk challenged the blog as to why Craig might be right and Charles William Crawford wrong Glenn-UK provided a possible answer.

    https://www.craigmurray.org.uk/archives/2015/04/frenchgate-definitely-the-security-services/#comment-517992

    It does not surprise me in the least that those who might support the non-politically correct might also be the supporters of fascists in Ukraine.

    Goodnight all.

  • Peacewisher

    Thanks all for putting me in the picture. Politicians are slippery creatures though.

    Since I wrote my earlier response, it has come to mind that Nick Clegg chose to stick the knife in to Gordon Brown during the election campaign. We know what happened after the election. Who’s to say Nicola doesn’t have something similar in mind? Either way, in coalition or in propping up a minority government, she’d have a puppet prime minister at her beck-and-call. And she’d make sure Scotland wasn’t too badly hit by tory-austerity or labour-austerity.

    Maybe someone simply came up with a plan to reduce SNP seats in Scotland. Will it work?

  • Abe Rene

    @John Goss “there seems to have been an absence of a certain individual, known to have had a Peruvian history, from commenting.” Hang on, I thought Michael Bentine died in 1999. 🙂

    There’s just been a recent announcement of an enquiry into the leak of the FCO memo. Here is what could be a leaked record of a meeting in the Ministry for TBJ:

    Minister M1: “Mandarin, this is too much. A leaked forged memo that no-one would believe? Now we’re in trouble with the French. You’d think whoever did his had never heard that we’ve have an Entente Cordiale across the Channel for 100 years.”

    Mandarin M2: “Minister, it was apparent an inexperienced young eager beaver in the secret services on a work placement wanting to prove himself.”

    M1: “I knew it! Using a b____y intern to save money! I know what we’ll do. We’ll announce an Enquiry. Believe me, heads will roll when we get to the bottom of this!”

    M2: “Right away, Minister!”

  • Purina

    @JG – Fayeds lawyers were not stupid, anybody with the intention of killing by car accident would have planned for the “afters” as well, as a crash may not result in immediate death. The 1.43 hours duration/journey it took from the time of crash to delive Diana to the hospital, and the attending ambulance doctors and intern(s),driver,etc have all been checked. Or have they? Are they still alive, in all cases of foul play, the pawns tend to suffer mysterious deaths.

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